I'd normally start with an introduction before tearing apart the subjects review one point at a time, but I can't do that with this one. Not because I'm lazy (unlike some people 😒) but because this particular review is so lazy! I know I don't like using that word to describe a movie or TV show because even I know better than to assume the creators were just lounging in hammocks while barking orders. MovieBob, meanwhile, might as well have been in a hammock because at least he could provide some humor while giving his general thoughts on Morbius. But he didn't even do THAT right!
All the review is is Bob just standing in front of the camera awkwardly for almost 6 minutes while occasionally saying "The movie sucks" and "don't watch it." When I saw this review back in April, I was legitimately angry with this so called critic I used to look up to. He took the time to set up the camera and lighting, yet when it was time to review the movie, he did NOT do his job properly! He hand waved the basic plot synopsis, he didn't criticize anything specific, he didn't even bother praising of the notable merits of the film such as the score by Jon Ekstrand , the cinematography by Oliver Wood, or how they used motion capture to turn Jared Leto into a vampire. No, instead he just went on assuming Sony knew it was garbage but hoped people would see it anyway because Adrian Tombs was in the trailers and post-credit scenes. He then proceeds to drag on the video just so he could get some ads in.
First of all, nobody should assume they know what's going on in the executives heads. This mentality never leads to a healthy and stable image for you. Why? Because it makes you look like a snobby narcissist who thinks he's better than everyone. Secondly, one of the most important lessons of being a YouTuber (and one Bob should know by heart) is DON'T start a YouTube channel for the money. Treat it like a hobby you do in your spare time and if your videos become popular, than you can start turning it into a business. Bob did his business a disservice by just standing in front of the camera barely saying anything of value just to get ads played on hus video. And lastly, this was such a waste of what could've been a really informative and well thought out review. Bob could've talked about Morbius' comic book history since he's so knowledgeable about that stuff. He could've brought up the works of director Daniel Espinosa, who directed a movie called Safe House with Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington. He could still talk about why the movie didn't work for him, but he also could've made a point to say, "Look, while I don't think this is very good, you owe it to yourselves to decide whether or not this is worth your time." You know? Like an actual critic should do!
I will never for the life of me understand why Bob thought this was a good idea for a "review" for a superhero movie about a dude who turns himself into a vampire. This was review reminds me of your typical Armond White review: it's cheap, it's unfair, it's drawn out, and worst of all, it's LAZY! To MovieBob, if you made it this far, you are a disgrace to professional critics. You failed to do your basic duties of talking about a movie and how you felt about it. You failed to engage with your audience and treat them like their not mindless sheep who will take what you say at face value. Worst of all, you failed to stand above the scummy movie "fans" who put no effort into gathering their thoughts on a movie or show they didn't like. These are the people YOU yourself called moronic and shallow. And yet here you are becoming the very person you said you above. If I was your boss, I'd not only fire you, but have you blacklisted so that the only place you'd be able to post your lazy, shallow and unfair reviews is on your own personal blog. For now though, I never want to see you on my recommendation page again. Like I always say: Your Opinion Is NOT Law -.-
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